THIS POST IS PERSONAL AND SOMETHING SO TREASURED BUT TO READ THROUGH AGAIN IT AND SHARE BRINGS SO MANY THINGS TO LIGHT AND IS JUST SO TRUE AND MADE ME BELIEVE YOU WERE WITH ME, AROUND ME OR AT LEAST THEN IT WAS A STRONG CONNECTION. I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE TREV, BUT MY NIGHT TIME SLEEP HAS MISSED YOU. I WISH IT WAS NIGHTLY I COULD SEE YOU, YOUR FACE, YUR SMILE, HEAR YOUR LAUGH FEEL YOUR HUGS. IT KILLS ME TO NOT HAVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU HERE WITH ME/US
Background story .......ONE OF OUR VERY BEST FRIENDS had this medium at her work for a group reading she was almost done and started to read Amy. This is what Amy sent to me.
Things in highlights is a truth connection or has or does happen.
So I set up a group Medium session yesterday for my Women’s Network at GE last night. There was approximately 15 people in attendance. She probably got to about 10 of us. I did not expect her to get to me, in fact, I told her to not worry about me and to focus on all the others in the group session as I had set it up and didn’t want to take up time that could’ve went to another group member. So she was there from 6 to 7:30ish. It got to be 7:20 and I thought, well she’s not going to get to me, which is fine. Then the last spirit energy came through…and here is what she said:
· I’m getting a young male who has recently passed unexpectedly
· She said he keeps telling me, “I just wanted to see what would happen. I F’ed up.would have been something he would say I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
· She said he was showing her a long pill (Vicodin possibly(Xanax is a long white pill), she’s not a doctor) and 2 pink round pills (no clue what that means or what those are, but he kept showing them to her)( could be the generic of Xanax/Alprazolam)
· She said it seemed as though he took something and on top of it the pills….and the pills are what put him into cardiac arrest ( he took Heroin and Pills)
· She stated he coded twice….first time his chest hurt, breathing was heavy, but he wasn’t scared…he thought he’d be okay….then second time it occurred right after, he coded. He wasn’t sure what was happening.
· She said he’s a bit confused on the other side as to what’s happened
· He keeps going back to his room, he’s asked you not to change anything in it yet…eventually, but not yet…he needs the constant right now( Have cleaned it but really Haven't changed it)
· She mentioned a significance with spring/Easter? She and I didn’t know what that meant???
S(She was talking about a chocolate bunny that I almost threw away, he had to have a solid bunny every year and hadn't eaten it all)
(
· He was also showing her his mouth/teeth…..wasn’t sure what that meant either or what he was trying to show her???
· She asked if he had a medium to bigger dog that had passed/really hyper and full of energy.
I said yes, Hampton, and she said, know that he is with the dog. I can see him playing and wrestling with him. They are together.
· She said he knows about the tree you planted,
he showed it to her, and he knows of your necklace (I’m thinking the one you got with his fingerprint on it?)
· He knows you lay in his bed and cry…he sees you; he keeps saying “I f’ed up….I didn’t know this would happen”
I wasn’t sure if I should share this with you. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to read this. It was hard for me to get this message, but I felt he used me to get a message to you and Pete. This was the same Medium I saw after Rich’s mom passed. She told me things no one else knew/could know. I just wanted to share what she told me….I felt I needed you to know what was said.
Love and XOXO’s
Me
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We had Robynne Matusik ( she is a medium ) to our home on Sat the 19th of December. All morning I was anxious of what our visit would bring. She came in and I was nervous, so scared we would get nothing. The doorbell rang and I got this feeling of OMG R U ready???? Please something just something to make sense. We came in I asked her where we should sit and if she needed a dim room ??? Light did it matter? She said where ever because she walks around alot, up and down in her seat so we sat at the dining room table. Very nice woman she explain her ethics to us and said she doesn't believe in charging if she doesn't make a legit connection that we feel is real and that she feels is genuine. She stood up kind of closing her eyes, and trying to get a connection of some sort.
Robynne = R
Things in the ( ) highlighted is what I am saying or connecting with what she is saying, seeing or feeling
She paced a few times and said "now I know I am hear to read and try and connect with your son. right?" We told her Yes. She remembered that we were friends of Amy and Richie. She was with Amy when you came thru the first time to her group work reading. Then while with Richie she told him that your spirit was still strong in her. That is why I scheduled it as soon as possible I wanted to make it more apt to connect.
She started .......
R - I am seeing cross of some sort,
(We said Trevor wasn't religious at all) so she said just write and hold onto it.
R- I can pick up he had big brown eyes, he is being goofy, he's giddy and laughing....
( He had big brown eyes)
R- He was a practical joker...... always smiling and with a cute smile.
( All the above)
R- Something with a blue shirt.................
(Yes he wore a blue shirt for his job at Mc Donalds)
R- Dimple on one of his cheeks.
(A small one)
R- Seeing or feeling something about a dentist????? We weren't sure ... A mouth guard maybe? she said
(He had a retainer)
R- She sees Trevor mac and cheese and he hits a spoon and starts laughing.
(Ky recorded him making mac and cheese one day. He was goofing around and holding some old bananas and turned seriously to Kyle. Ky said WHAT R U DOING? and TREV answered MAKING FRENCH TOAST>>>> but he was making Mac and Cheese, but he started laughing)
R- Birthday coming up?????
(January 4th is Kys and the 17th is Trevors)
R- Sees a brother of Pete's, Trev in a casket, the brother is standing there and the brother is taller than Pete.
( Pete's brother Kevin came with us the very first time we saw Trevor at the funeral home)
R- Asked Pete about a older brother? What is his name?
(Adam)
R- Did the other brother spend a lot of time with Trevor?
( Trevor was closer to Kevin than Adam and did spend more time with him)
R- Trev is showing her
he is sitting in a chair in a veg state, talk show on and zoned out at night.
( not sure what that meant?)
R- The number 8 she is seeing Trev showing her the number 8
(That is Kyle's sports number on his jerseys have always been that number)26 was Trev's
R- Feel Mom connected to Trev, but seems like I see something, like what????
(Don't know)
R- If Pete looks in the sky or up he trys to make a connection with Trev, but Pete is unsure just a odd coincidence
Not sure but pay attention to it in the future)
R- Pete thinks about Trev I am not sure if it is Trev or pete that is saying he is here...... She gets that Trev feels that Pete is afraid to grieve to let go.
R- She said Trev is saying you know I am here, but you as in me or pete need to put it together, not here and there but just together.
R- She mentions Fishing????? that Trev caught a fish, camping and maybe the fish was round but she isn't positive.
( He went fishing with Brayden and I think has caught but don't think it was a round shaped fish)
R- mentions she reminds us of the night he did the pills the color and that what she calls coding as in heart stopping or breathing stopping.
She said Trev said he wasn't scared.
( same exact thing that she said to Amy in her reading)
R- She held our hands, she then mentions that he is showing her he is fucking around with pills and laughing.
Him saying I GOT IT TO PEOPLE. People would tell him all the time not to and he was always confident.
( He ALWAYs would say he had it no matter what it was that someone thought was not good for him or unsafe)
R- She said he was saying don't change it...... as we were in his room he said he's not ready and then she recognizes a sword and says that was the cross like symbol thing she was seeing at the beginning.
We walked past the bathroom
R- said she felt he did some things in there.
maybe hiding something in the bushes around his bedroom, or the sides of his walls along his bed
( don't know about those areas but definitely found things in his room after he died and I was going through things) Hid in cigarette packs and in a wallet
There was a heart that I made on his carpet...
R- asked me if I made it?
(I told her yes)
R- held a picture of him in a packer jersey wearing a Santa hat.
R- said Trevor is saying he is so sorry to mom, he knows he hurt me so much
he's having a hard time facing dad almost like an embarrassment, that he represents Pete in a way but otherwise a good kid.
R- said she felt he did it recreational, but it got out of hand. It was a part of his life, but he could still function.
There was a friend who said to watch it but Trev always said he knew what he was doing, he was good at controlling it he just took a little too much. More of one of the 2 types of something and there was a touch of something mixed so however he did it wasn't the normal and that is what caused it to happen.
( I read a text from manager of his telling him to be careful)
( NO FUCKING KIDDING)
R- Doesn't feel alcohol was involved but maybe a sip not a lot of it.
He wasn't aware that there was something else mixed with it, she is seeing a tiny like 3%
( we told her it was Xanax and Heroin)
We reminded her that when she read Amy she said how he coded
They found him in the morning
R- said he was calm that he actually left his body and watched
and then ended with not being clear about looking back and a table type plant
( I kept a couple plants but the only one that is lasted was one that my parents bought)
There are ALOT of things in both sessions that connect with so much
I am so extremely desperate to have you back, I know you aren't able to come back. WHY? Because I have you sitting right in front of us everyday as we sit in the family room. I have your ashes by my heart daily in my necklace, I have you in my heart but it is NOT ENOUGH. In my mind sometimes, ALOT OF TIMES I feel like you are just out and about and somehow I will be surprised when you get home, to tell me about your day, about stupid things, happy things, things that pissed you off, how tired you were how you didn't want to do your laundry. ( mooooooooooom could you just this time do it for me?????) and me I would give in cause you were my son and that's what mom's do. 
ME TREVOR I have not only lost my son, a spirit I made, Who I would watch with amazement when you would move inside me, who I watched grow up, that I taught things to, I not only lost my son, I was excited beyond belief to see and feel, kiss and touch when you were born. I have lost literally a piece of me, A HUGE chunk of me. TREEEEEVORRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO R. WHEN I SAY ME. I MEAN ME my being, It isn't that I don't feel for others but it is so very different for your mommy. I TREVOR OH GOD I hope you knew that I couldn't of loved any more if I tried. I still could love you any more if I tried its still there honey. I LOVE YOU.
