Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeev I am in such a horrible place. People think I am so strong, that I am moving on, that its getting easier or time makes it better. IT IS NOT TREVOR............. EVERYDAY TO THIS DAY I could scream at the top of my lungs still, punch whoever I come in contact with. slam my head into a wall. I can't ask for more wonderful support from our friends Trevor, our family Trevor and even acquaintances. We couldn't ask for anymore love and support, but for me TREV it is just not enough. It isn't at all that I don't appreciate it cause I do, but in this I feel so alone. Yes your dad has lost his son, Ky has lost his brother, our family have lost a grandson, nephew, cousin and friends they have lost your spark, spunk and lust for life, the laughs and the fun you gave every single day to someone.....Anyone who came in contact with you.
I am so extremely desperate to have you back, I know you aren't able to come back. WHY? Because I have you sitting right in front of us everyday as we sit in the family room. I have your ashes by my heart daily in my necklace, I have you in my heart but it is NOT ENOUGH. In my mind sometimes, ALOT OF TIMES I feel like you are just out and about and somehow I will be surprised when you get home, to tell me about your day, about stupid things, happy things, things that pissed you off, how tired you were how you didn't want to do your laundry. ( mooooooooooom could you just this time do it for me?????) and me I would give in cause you were my son and that's what mom's do.
ME TREVOR I have not only lost my son, a spirit I made, Who I would watch with amazement when you would move inside me, who I watched grow up, that I taught things to, I not only lost my son, I was excited beyond belief to see and feel, kiss and touch when you were born. I have lost literally a piece of me, A HUGE chunk of me. TREEEEEVORRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO R. WHEN I SAY ME. I MEAN ME my being, It isn't that I don't feel for others but it is so very different for your mommy. I TREVOR OH GOD I hope you knew that I couldn't of loved any more if I tried. I still could love you any more if I tried its still there honey. I LOVE YOU.
I am so extremely desperate to have you back, I know you aren't able to come back. WHY? Because I have you sitting right in front of us everyday as we sit in the family room. I have your ashes by my heart daily in my necklace, I have you in my heart but it is NOT ENOUGH. In my mind sometimes, ALOT OF TIMES I feel like you are just out and about and somehow I will be surprised when you get home, to tell me about your day, about stupid things, happy things, things that pissed you off, how tired you were how you didn't want to do your laundry. ( mooooooooooom could you just this time do it for me?????) and me I would give in cause you were my son and that's what mom's do. 
ME TREVOR I have not only lost my son, a spirit I made, Who I would watch with amazement when you would move inside me, who I watched grow up, that I taught things to, I not only lost my son, I was excited beyond belief to see and feel, kiss and touch when you were born. I have lost literally a piece of me, A HUGE chunk of me. TREEEEEVORRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO R. WHEN I SAY ME. I MEAN ME my being, It isn't that I don't feel for others but it is so very different for your mommy. I TREVOR OH GOD I hope you knew that I couldn't of loved any more if I tried. I still could love you any more if I tried its still there honey. I LOVE YOU.
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