Pouring our my first Heartbreak

I know on the outskirts there may be some who think you had done this many times or were, but we KNOW YOU WERE NOT A DRUG ADDICT. NOT EVEN CLOSE!

TREV we know you didn't mean for this to happen. OUR ♡'s broken in a gazillion pieces, literally hurts to breathe sometimes because I lay in your bed screaming into your pillow... WHAT HAPPENED? WHY? I LOVE YOU!, YOU SHOULD B HERE WITH ME! The fog in my mind is swirling with HOR...ROR and CONFUSION and does not find a point of comprehension. All I do know is you are LIFELESS, DEAD NOT HERE, NOT HERE to hold your momma as I WEEP UNCONTROLLABLY and tell me you LOVE me. To have come home even from a F $#@€#% hospital saying I f$%×÷! UP. I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to try it and c what would happen. "(I GOT THIS") was always your favorite go to phrase. For anything that seemed a challenge. EVERYDAY as I feel numb that phrase repeats in my head "(YOU DON'T GOT THIS, YOU DIDN'T HAVE IT, YOU WILL NEVER "GOT" THIS AGAIN)" My body aches, I feel limp, my eyes hurt from ongoing NIGHTMARES, sleepless nights. My mind never shutting off not only because u left me ,but you left your brother broken without his best friend, his most precious other half of a complete world. You left your dad with the same confusion and shattered heart as me, all the horror, anger and so much more horrendous indescribable pain that you can even imagine. I WISH the clock could be turned back so I could shake u, but importantly HOLD U, KISS YOUR FACE AND HUG YOU THE TIGHTEST I'VE EVER HUGGED YOU BEFORE. I LOVE U and MORE THAN MISS U past the moon and back Its past INFINITY.
YOUR MOMMY , DAD AND BROTHER ♡ YOU
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