Trev I KNOW I saw you and talked to you in my sleep last night. I can remember half waking up and knowing I needed to write it in my book, but fell back to sleep before actually getting up to get my book. I can only remember Gram Gen was in there and she was driving!!!! LOL DRIVING funny right? since she never had her license. I for the life of me can't remember what exact role you played. I just have the I know feeling you were there I JUST KNOW I TALKED AND SAW YOU, like no it clear but knew it was you, just so blurry now.
Gram Gen Is she actually with you? R U with her? Who else is there? seeing her I wasnt even sad because your presence meant everything to me. I wish I could have clear visions like dreams all day long. see you move, talk, touch me, hug me, kiss me on the cheek like EVERYDAY................. It makes me so happy to hear you laugh, see your smile. I can't even describe how my heart just beats a million miles a hour, and then within second of realizing or waking I burst out into a full out sob. I know I know why. I am beyond the mad at you part ( right now) don't know if it will come back at points. I am in the only mode I know how to be and that is MISSING YOU, WANTING YOU BACK, STILL WONDERING ,SAYING WHY TREVOR? I CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENED, HOW I DESPISE THAT YOUR GONE. Trev I don't even know sometimes what I feel. Nothing makes it better, no words, no hugs, no kisses, no prayers, no hoping, no memories, no nothing will even make this better. The ONLY and ONLY thing that would bounce me back would be to have you here with us. Since that will never happen. I will never be able to recover. I don't feel it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This sadness is so destructible, so very painful like a hard like a sharp rod impaling my chest.
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