St. Nick Sadness

                               Your brother spent his first St. Nick without you.  Every year I would buy you your solid Santa trying to find the biggest one, because I didn't do stockings anymore.  This year I was so preoccupied in the life we are living that I didn't think of it.  I mean I did think of it because of all the candy/misc in the stores, but it didn't seem like a priority.  That was wrong of me and it still should of been top priority for your brother, because your brother is still here. He likes his Santa's just as much as you if not more.  So it was the day after and Dad and I were shopping and I didn't find solid but hollow, so I bought your brother 2.  He was happy for that, but I still feel bad that I wasn't on top of it just for him.  I hadn't paid attention and noticed he started to eat his cause he would leave it on the counter kinda rewrapped in the foil. I thought to myself boy he ate that first one quick. Not thinking anymore of it I went on.

 The next time I went into your room..................... I sat down even before I could look at your pictures the tears started flowing. As I started talking to you I brought my head up and sitting on your desk was the 2nd Santa. I immediately broke down in a sob. So on your desk sits is a full Santa, and also the half of a solid chocolate rabbit that you had still. I initially had thrown it in a plastic bag with the actually garbage I was throwing away right after you died and I was being nosey going thru your room.
                         After Aim had the reading by the physic and the lady told her that you said not to change anything in your room, and something about Easter ( but she didn't know what that meant) I DID I took it out and that also stays on your desk.
                        I love how excited you both were that you never got dresses just thru on a robe and straight to the stockings. the stockings that Gramp Pete made for you were the size of you and your dad always would tell me "Ya know you don't have to fill them all the way" ya whatever. I miss filling the stockings with all the stuff I knew you would be so excited about and now, seeing you and your brother nawing on them.