Being MAD< ANGRY.
I LOVE AND MISS U so much my mind, body and soul is just tired, so very tired Trevor. I now sleep better but even with a nights sleep I wake to already being exausted, I drag thru the days just wanting this to b over. I wish there were directions , a list, something to make me move to the next number, what to do, what and how to feel, just SOMETHING to make it go away. The pain is like deafening noise, like a jack hammer sound with my head being slammed against a wall. I'm so sad, broken, curious, I'm confused, lost, numb, I'm so mad. Angry, I just want to be able to scream at the top of my lungs at you. I want to know for sure you know what hell you have left us, what this has done to our family to each of us individually. I want to know you are sorry, that you were stupid, that you knew right from wrong. I want to be able to hear you, HEAR YOUR VOICE TALK TO ME and tell me that maybe, MAYBE one day I won't cry every single day, one day I'll b able to walk into your room without feeling so overwhelmed I sob, one day I'll remeber you with happiness and smiles. I WANT SO MUCH THAT I CAN'T HAVE AND IT'S NOT FAIR TREVOR. NOT FAIR TO YOUR DAD, YOUR BROTHER AND YOU MOMMY. I HATE being angry at you I want someone else to blame. Yes in the big picture I can blame the drug dealer, but he's in prison and ya know what? He will get out this epidemic will go on and more people will die. This was YOUR STUPID DECISION, YES ASSHOLES, BASTARDS, M-----F------, THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE SELLIING, GETTING, GIVING U WAS possibly going to KILL YOU they did it ANYWAYS.
YA! NICE FRIENDS...... ( SO CALLED) AND A FEW YOU GREW UP WITH WHO WE WOULD OF THOUGHT WERE OK GUYS. I /WE HAVE A TOTALLY DEFFIERENT VIEW ON YOU. I am mad at your stupidity, judgment, where was your highly intellegent decision making, WHY did you think they were friends? TREVOR??????????? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY are we left in this life that revolves around the sadness of you not being here. I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVE YOU R JUST NOT ENOUGH IT'S BEYOND LOVE.
I LOVE AND MISS U so much my mind, body and soul is just tired, so very tired Trevor. I now sleep better but even with a nights sleep I wake to already being exausted, I drag thru the days just wanting this to b over. I wish there were directions , a list, something to make me move to the next number, what to do, what and how to feel, just SOMETHING to make it go away. The pain is like deafening noise, like a jack hammer sound with my head being slammed against a wall. I'm so sad, broken, curious, I'm confused, lost, numb, I'm so mad. Angry, I just want to be able to scream at the top of my lungs at you. I want to know for sure you know what hell you have left us, what this has done to our family to each of us individually. I want to know you are sorry, that you were stupid, that you knew right from wrong. I want to be able to hear you, HEAR YOUR VOICE TALK TO ME and tell me that maybe, MAYBE one day I won't cry every single day, one day I'll b able to walk into your room without feeling so overwhelmed I sob, one day I'll remeber you with happiness and smiles. I WANT SO MUCH THAT I CAN'T HAVE AND IT'S NOT FAIR TREVOR. NOT FAIR TO YOUR DAD, YOUR BROTHER AND YOU MOMMY. I HATE being angry at you I want someone else to blame. Yes in the big picture I can blame the drug dealer, but he's in prison and ya know what? He will get out this epidemic will go on and more people will die. This was YOUR STUPID DECISION, YES ASSHOLES, BASTARDS, M-----F------, THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE SELLIING, GETTING, GIVING U WAS possibly going to KILL YOU they did it ANYWAYS.
YA! NICE FRIENDS...... ( SO CALLED) AND A FEW YOU GREW UP WITH WHO WE WOULD OF THOUGHT WERE OK GUYS. I /WE HAVE A TOTALLY DEFFIERENT VIEW ON YOU. I am mad at your stupidity, judgment, where was your highly intellegent decision making, WHY did you think they were friends? TREVOR??????????? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY are we left in this life that revolves around the sadness of you not being here. I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVE YOU R JUST NOT ENOUGH IT'S BEYOND LOVE.
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