when is it a dream?

We are in Arizona it is 4:30am. I have yet again woke screaming in a cry that won't stop. My dream of you was so REAL, SO REAL. When you are there and you look at me you are there inches from me and this time looking me in the eyes telling me no my name is Jason as you move away more and more. It has to be you! It is your height, weight, face, the way you carry yourself. PLEASE don't tell me your not my son. Your eyes tell me different and I want to just touch grab you and not let go. Please tell me Yes..... Yes it is me Mom... Can you just hug me and tell me it's ok PLEEEEEEEEASE. PLEASE DO GO! DON'T MOVE BACK! OMG PLEASE COME BACK! YOU R GOING TOO FAR, TOO FAST. FADING AND I AM REACHING FOR YOU  Will these dreams ever b calming, make me look into it as being lucky to have so many interactions, you coming to me?????? As they say. If that is what it is? My life itself, I am truly living the nightmare, why do my dreams have to b too.