4Months of torturous days and nights. Still the wondering why? Why us? Why You? So many days I just want to lay in bed, in the dark and not move a muscle, just lay and cry all day.  Does it make me feel better about you being gone? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I know we have so many friends and family who miss you and who truly do care about us and want us to be ok. This is so destructive , destructive to a body, soul, and mind. I woke up this morning crying, as I came out of my bedroom without even thinking I lifted you to me and held you tight crying, crying so hard it could of woke up the neighborhood if I let it actually come out of my mouth.   

    I HATE IT!!!!! I HATE THAT I CAN'T HUG YOU!!!!!!!!! YES I AM STUCK ON NOT EVER BEING ABLE TO TOUCH YOU AGAIN.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE IIIIIIIIT!

With Halloween tomorrow I think of all the Halloweens that you and your brother were together.